Health is a interesting topic of conversation in Italy. The Italians are relatively obsessive about their health in that many of them like to have blood tests almost to make sure they have a health problem!

I recently overheard a couple exchanging insults about the number of blood tests they have had recently. The man was not bothered and thought he was fine at age 30 and did not need the hassle of going to the doctor. The girl on the other hand, went to the doctor regularly and knew all the stats about her cholesterol and various other things. She even argued (to her partner) “you sit there feeling good, but you may have some terrible diseases and you just don’t know about them!”. Ignorance is bliss, no?

Having discussed health and safety in Italy with some Italian friends, it appears that when putting signs on the street for say, a gaping hole in the ground, a paper note with sticky tape will suffice in terms of getting sued on health and safety grounds. What a relaxed nation – I think I prefer this to the ease of suing that is evident in other countries, even if the “victim” was just plain stupid. That is just my own opinion though! However, I recently got “forced” to have a doctor’s appointment at the gym. The irony being that it is compulsory to have a medical of some sort if you partake in any physical activity in a public building (apparently). From one extreme to the other! I assume there are certain “activities” that don’t count.

So I turn up to my appointment. The doctor does not speak one word of English and only repeats Italian slowly – fair play, although I half-expected a medically trained professional to have some familiarity with some English words as they are quite fundamental in medicine (so I am told). Never mind. So we fill in his questionnaire – I answered affirmative to everything, so I either have every illness under the sun or a clean bill of health. Then he says something which I correctly translate in my head, which is to strip to my pants. I had joked with friends about it being like school and wearing pants in front of the school nurse. Not so funny now. I protested a bit because I couldn’t understand what benefit it was for me to drop trou’ randomly. He then said it didn’t matter and filed my papers away and bid me farewell. Utter craziness! I think the doctor expected me to want to be completely examined in every way (for medical reasons), but no!

So, who knows what my health report says. It may bite me in the rear some day soon, but I live in hope (and by then, maybe my medical Italian language will have improved somewhat). Let it be said that living abroad can turn the most mundane task into a rollercoaster ride due to a lack of cultural and linguistic abilities!

love is like a padlock...

love is like a padlock...